


Wistful

by rhith



Category: Shinhwa (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Self Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:27:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22366381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhith/pseuds/rhith
Relationships: Kim Dongwan/Lee Minwoo





	1. Chapter 1

"I need your help, Andy."

"What?" Andy stared at his best friend, who didn't look well at all. 

"Well...actually me and Dongwan need your help..." 

"With?" 

His friend swallowed hard, "W-We...um..." 

Andy put his hand on his friend's shoulder, who flinched, "What's wrong, Minwoo?" 

"W-We sort of got ourselves into some...um...bad habits?" Minwoo shrugged Andy's hand off of him. 

"What kind of habits?" Andy stared at him. 

Minwoo sighed deeply and sat down on Andy's couch, he had abruptly arrived at the younger man's place, “W-We...somehow...got into drugs and stuff like that..." He picked at the skin around his fingernails, "W-We're addicted, Andy."

Now it made sense. Month before Dongwan and Minwoo acted strangely when Andy and the others saw them. With their group activities on hiatus it seemed their behavior got even worse. The past few weeks the men refused to hang out with anyone. Staying home. Andy stood there, watching him pick at his skin, "How did you guys even get involved with this stuff?" 

"I have a close friend from high school...he came over and brought some stuff...we refused at first but after drinking a bit...well we gave in..." Minwoo sighed, putting his hands under his thighs to stop picking at himself, "H-He hooked us up with some other things...and well we took off and got addicted." 

"Minwoo..." 

"Dongwan told me to stop...he did. He's a lot stronger than me...but when I didn't stop he would do them too." Minwoo chewed on his lip, "H-He told me if I'm going down he was going to join me...and well it got worse from there..." 

"How?" Andy thought doing drugs and getting addicted was worse enough. 

"T-The drugs messed with Dongwan's mind. After the 'high' was over he'd get depressed and well one day he ended up hurting himself." Minwoo pulled his hands back up and grabbed his hair, he was shaking and tears filled his eyes, "H-He felt so ashamed for doing drugs...and he felt as if he caused me to do them...so h-he started hurting himself..." 

Andy sat down next to him, "How is he hurting himself?" 

"First he was scratching...then hitting...now he's cutting." Minwoo looked at him, dropping his hands from his head to roll up his sleeves, revealing cuts and bruises, "I started too...cause if he's in pain then I should be too. Cause it's really my fault he's into this crap..." 

Andy went to put his hand on Minwoo's knee but the man flinched again, "Do the others know?" 

"Hell no!" Minwoo yelled, "I mean...Eric might kill us or kick us out." He gulped, fighting back tears, "Junjin has his own crap to worry about. Hyesung might never talk to us again...you know how he gets about things. W-Which left you...I know you have your own stuff but we trust that you could help us..."   
"How am I to help? Put you in rehab?" 

Minwoo shook his head, "Please...not there. If we go it'll be all over the news and we don't want to ruin the group...we really don't. So..." 

"So?"

"We need you to help us go cold turkey." 

"You're not serious..." 

"What? We have to do this...we want to quit but if we do this alone who knows what will happen." 

"Minwoo...you know how sick you'll both become? How dangerous it is?" 

"Of course I know..." Minwoo said softly, "Why we need you..." 

Andy frowned, knowing he had to help. Yet it was going to be a scary experience. 

\---

Andy watched as Minwoo struggled to open the door to his apartment, his hands were shaking badly. He dropped the keys and cursed to himself. Andy picked them up and opened the door. Minwoo smiled at him, "Thanks..."

Minwoo stumbled inside, "Wan...Andy is here..." No answer. Minwoo took off his shoes and went into the living room to find Dongwan on the couch sleeping. 

Andy followed the older man to see the place was a mess. Beer bottles, pill bottles, needles, straws, everything drug related. He frowned, not liking this one bit. Minwoo sat on the couch and shook his sleeping friends, "Wan wake up...oh crap..." 

"What is it?" Andy asked. 

"H-He cut himself..." Minwoo sighed and grabbed a used napkin from the cluttered coffee table, he wiped off the blood from his friend’s wrist. Andy shook his head with a sigh. 

Minwoo noticed but didn't say anything, "W-Wan wake up, please..." 

Dongwan moaned lightly, and shook a bit before opening his eyes. Minwoo stared down at him, "T-There we go...A-Andy is here..." 

Dongwan slowly sat up and right away Andy noticed his once buff and healthy friend was small and fragile, it was obvious out of the two of them Dongwan did the most. A way to punish himself, maybe? Dongwan looked over at Andy with bloodshot eyes, "A-Andy..." 

Andy walked over to get a better view, "So what exactly have you guys been taking?" 

"Crack...meth...um...sometimes pot. Alcohol." Minwoo shrugged, "I t-think that's it?" 

Dongwan coughed a bit, and began shaking, "I-I'm cold..." 

Minwoo wrapped his arms around him, "I-I know Wan...b-but Andy is going to h-help us..." 

Andy scratched his head, "Where should I start?" 

Minwoo looked at him, sad, "I-I don't know..." 

"Well then you two go into the bedroom and rest, I'll clean up here..." Andy watched as Minwoo carried Dongwan into the bedroom. 

With them gone, he got a garbage bag and began to clean up. Now knowing what they actually did, he knew that it was going to be a long road to their recovering. 

\--- 

It was five hours later when Minwoo came out of the bedroom. All he wore was boxers and a shirt, "A-Andy..." 

Andy came out of the kitchen, he had left few hours before to get some supplies for his long stay, "What's wrong, Minwoo?" 

"Wan is shaking...and he isn't cold..." Minwoo whined. 

Andy frowned, "He's already having withdrawals..." The older man just stared at him, "I'll go look at him..." 

They went into the bedroom where Dongwan was on the floor curled up. He was naked. Minwoo knelt down beside him and put his hand on his friend's side, "Wan...Andy is here..." 

Andy gulped, never have seen the older man naked before. Which didn't bother him, what bothered him was the man was way too skinny. His spine was very apparent and you could see his ribs, which seemed badly bruised. Only a month or so of drugs could do this to him? He had to be taking a whole lot more than what Minwoo was doing. Which made Andy wonder why Minwoo wasn't as skinny. Andy cleared his throat, "Let's give him a bath...maybe it'll help relax him a bit." He went into the bathroom and got the tub ready. 

Minwoo carried Dongwan, and set him in the tub. Dongwan sat there, the shaking seemed to slowed a bit as he began to warm up, he looked at Andy. Andy frowned at him and began washing Dongwan's cut up arm, "I have a question..."

Minwoo sat on the toilet seat watching, he was rocking back and forth slightly, "W-What?" 

"Why is Dongwan worse than you? I thought you guys did this together?" Dongwan leaned against the wall of the tub, closing his eyes. 

Minwoo sniffed, "I-I...I didn't do as much because...the effects lasted longer for me...a-and I was too busy....um...pleasuring Wan." 

Andy frowned and began washing Dongwan's back, "Have you guys bought drugs recently?"

"U-Um...only last week from my friend..." Minwoo grasped his stomach, as continued to rock. 

"I hope you will never speak to him again." 

"F-For sure...I-I..." He sighed, "W-We really screwed up, huh?" 

"Yes, you guys did." Andy said sternly, "But I'm here to help you get through this..." 

\---

Andy sat on the couch, which he cleaned, and ate some dinner. The two men were asleep in the bedroom. Sleeping through the withdrawals seemed best. Andy stared at the TV which had the news on, he sighed, "What did I agree to?" It was only the start. His cell phone went off. 

He picked it up, "Hello? Oh Jin. Nothing, I'm fine. Tomorrow? I-I can't..." He swallowed hard, "I'm helping a friend of mine with moving. Know him? No you don't. Sorry...next time? Ok. Bye." He hung up with a deep sigh. 

He looked up to see Dongwan slowly walking into the room, the older man was only underwear and a shirt, "Hey Dongwan..." Dongwan went over to him and dropped a pocket knife on the coffee table. Andy looked at the man's thighs to see they were freshly cut. Dongwan sat on the couch next to him, without a word. 

Andy sighed, "Why Dongwan?" The older man didn't answer. Andy went to get the first aid kit he had bought, he went back and began fixing up Dongwan's thighs, "Dongwan...are you mad at yourself for getting this way?" He watched as Dongwan nodded, but didn't say a word. Andy frowned, "Stuff like this happens..." 

"N-No." Dongwan swallowed hard, "I could have told Minwoo no...b-but I let him...I allowed him to continue..." 

"Then why did you continue to do it?" 

"I wanted to go down with him..." Dongwan looked at him, "I love him too much to just sit here and watch him drown himself in drugs..." 

"You could have helped him like I'm helping you guys." 

"I, for once, didn't use my head in the decision." Dongwan leaned back, "I'm sorry to have gotten you involved Andy..."

Andy stared at him, this was the normal Dongwan, then why only a few hours ago Dongwan was silent and sickly? He shook his head, "I'm glad to help before anything got even worse...like if we found you two dead or something..." Dongwan didn't say anything to that. Andy sighed, "How are you feeling?" 

"T-The sick feeling seems to be coming back...but right now I'm fine..." 

"Are you hungry?" 

"Yes but..." He closed his eyes, "I think if I eat I'll puke..." 

"Oh..." Andy looked at the doorway to the bedroom to see Minwoo standing there, crying. 

\--- 

Andy woke up that morning, to find himself on Minwoo's couch. He sat up slowly and heard noises. He went into the bathroom to find Dongwan on his knees, puking into the toilet. Minwoo was at his side, rubbing his friend's back to soothe him. Andy frowned and walked into the bathroom, "How long has he been throwing up?" 

"Few minutes..." Minwoo said, as he looked up at the younger man, to reveal that his nose was bleeding. 

Andy grabbed some tissues, "Minwoo your nose..." 

Minwoo took the tissue and wiped his nose, "Dammit..." 

Dongwan stopped for the moment and set his head against the toilet seat as he flushed the toilet. Andy rubbed the back of his neck, "Minwoo you should go get something to eat...I'll clean up Dongwan and get him something to drink..." 

Minwoo got up slowly, holding the tissue to his bleeding nose, "Ok..." Andy watched him leave before getting a face cloth wet and wiped Dongwan's face, "Besides puking, how are you feeling?" 

"D-Dizzy..." Dongwan swallowed, "I...I'm so tired...I-I don't like this..." 

"I know..." Andy said softly, "I know...but it's to feel better." After getting Dongwan some water and putting him into bed, he found Minwoo on the couch eating some toast. 

He sat next to him, "How are you feeling?" 

"Like s-shit." Minwoo dropped his half eaten toast on the coffee table, "I-I don't like seeing Dongwan sick..." 

"I know." 

"I don't like seeing it especially when I made him that way..." 

"Minwoo..." 

"I heard you two last night...it's my fault he even did the drugs. He isn't weak Andy. H-He just..." 

"I know, Minwoo." He put his hand on the man's knee, who flinched a bit, "Minwoo...we'll get through this...few more days should have it all better..." 

"He cut last night..." Minwoo said softly, "I -I watched and after he left I...I cut too..." 

"He had the knife..." 

"I have my own hidden..." 

"Where?" 

Minwoo looked at him, "In my sock drawer...I put it in one of my socks..." 

Andy narrowed his eyes, "Give it to me..." 

"Later..." He leaned back. 

Andy got up, "I'll get it myself..." He went into the bedroom. He opened the sock drawer and went through it, finding needles, razor blades, a few pocket knives. He frowned as he found a small baggie with white powder. Crank. He went back out and dropped the stuff he found on the coffee table, "Were you going to tell me about all this?" 

"At some point..." Minwoo stared at him. 

"No wonder your nose was bleeding! Dang it, Minwoo! I'm here to watch you guys and help you when you're sick but if I don't know about any secret stashes I'm useless!" 

"Look. I'm sorry! I only had a line, a line! Nothing more." Minwoo yelled. 

"Just...any other stashes?" 

Minwoo shook his head, "No. I promise. That was the last of all our drugs..."

"Alright..." 

"I promise you, Andy. That is it." 

Andy pushed the stuff into a garbage can, "Go clean up..." 

Minwoo stood up, "Andy...I'm sorry...it's just after hearing Dongwan talk about this I..." 

"Lost control. I understand." Andy grabbed the trash can, "Go shower." 

After Minwoo left Andy took the trash outside and found a garbage bin. He hoped to trust Minwoo in that was all he had left. 

He heard the shower start followed by a loud thump. He rushed into the bathroom, “Minwoo?”

Minwoo groaned as he opened the shower curtain, “S-Sorry...I slipped…”

Andy frowned at seeing the older man’s body covered in cuts and bruises, “Are you ok?”

Minwoo slowly sat down in the shower, “No…”

Andy watched as the other man covered his face with his hands and started to cry. He walked over to the shower and got on his knees, “Minwoo…”

“I hate this…” Minwoo cried as he pulled on his hair.

Andy frowned and grabbed Minwoo’s hands, trying to get him to release his hair, “We’re getting through it…”

Minwoo pulled away and breathed heavily, “It’s my fault…” He looked at the younger man, “Make it stop…”

“Make what stop?” Andy noticed the man starting to scratch his arm, he grabbed it.

“Everything…” Minwoo looked away as he sighed.

Andy began to clean Minwoo up, once he got him clothed and into the bedroom he ordered the older man to sleep. Minwoo nodded and he laid down behind Dongwan and wrapped his arms around him. 

Andy sighed as he left the apartment to do a grocery run. He was staring at some vitamins when he felt someone put their hand on his shoulder. He looked over to see Junjin, his eyes widened, “Jin?”

Junjin smiled at him, “Hey Andy…”

“Hey…” Andy blinked at him.

“You’ve been spacing out last few minutes…” Junjin explained, “I called to you…”

“Oh sorry.” Andy smiled sadly, “Lot on my mind.”

“You look beat…” Junjin rubbed his friend’s shoulder, “Are you alright?”

Andy frowned and looked away. Should he tell him? He sighed, “Not really…”

“What’s wrong?”

Andy looked up at him, he had to tell someone. It was getting worse. “How about I finish shopping and I’ll tell you…”

Junjin nodded, concerned, “Alright.”


	2. Chapter 2

Andy sat in his car with Junjin, he explained what was going on. 

Junjin listened quietly and once the younger man finished he sighed, “No wonder you look beat…”

“It’s really bad…” He sighed, “I...thought I could do it but Dongwan seems to be getting worse.”

“We need to get them to the hospital…” Junjin crossed his arms.

“Minwoo doesn't want anyone to know…” Andy sighed again as he put his forehead against the steering wheel.

Junjin looked at him, “Minwoo doesn't have a say anymore...if Dongwan is getting worse we need to take him.”

“I know…”

“We can hide the fact it was drugs…” Junjin put his hand on Andy’s back, “You don’t have to do this alone…”

Andy turned his head to look at him, he smiled sadly, “I know...I thought about telling Eric but…”

“Eric will be furious.” Junjin rubbed his friend’s back a bit, “At least you got me…”

“True…” Andy sat back up and sighed, “I want to see if Dongwan gets better...”

Junjin nodded, “Alright but…”

“I better go...can’t leave them for too long.” Andy explained as he buckled himself.

Junjin started to get out of the car, “I’ll stop by in an hour or so, need to grab a few things, alright?”

Andy nodded, “Sounds good.”

\---

Andy got back to Minwoo’s, he set his bags on the coffee table when he heard moaning. He followed the sound to the bedroom, and to his surprise Minwoo was behind Dongwan, thrusting into him. Andy looked away, embarrassed, “M-Minwoo…” He looked up again to see the man ignoring him and he noticed that Dongwan was unconscious, “Minwoo stop!”

Andy went over and grabbed Minwoo, forcing him out of the unconscious man, “What are you doing?”

Minwoo snapped out of the trance he seemed to be in and looked at Andy, “A-Andy?”

Andy pulled him off the bed, “Why are you doing that to him?”

“Trying to make him feel better…” Minwoo said softly as he pushed away from the younger man. He started to breath heavily as he backed himself into a corner.

Andy checked on Dongwan, who was still out, he checked his breath and pulse making sure he was ok. He turned around to see the naked Minwoo in the corner huddled up with his hands on his head, crying and breathing rapidly. Andy used a towel that was on the floor to wipe Dongwan off before covering him with a blanket. 

Minwoo sat in the corner, hyperventilating as he started to scratch his arm. Andy went over to him and grabbed his arms, “Minwoo stop…”

Minwoo shook his head and tried scratching more, his forearms already red and raw, “I-I need it to stop…”

Andy frowned as he let go of him, “Minwoo…”

Minwoo cried as he put his hands on his head again, “Make it stop…make it stop...”

Andy wasn’t sure what to do so he ended up just hugging the older man. Minwoo groaned a bit as he release his head and wrapped his arms around the younger man, “M-Make it stop...please…”

Andy just kept hugging him as he rubbed his back. His breathing seemed to slow down. Andy pulled away and looked at his friend, “Clean yourself up and get some rest, ok?”

Minwoo just nodded and went over to the bed, he wiped himself down with a towel on the floor. He slowly got on the bed and wrapped his arms around Dongwan.

Andy picked up the old laundry after covering Minwoo up in a blanket. He sighed as he went to start a load of laundry. Once he started a load he put his groceries away and sat down on the couch. He leaned back against it and closed his eyes for a moment. Junjin would be there soon to help and Andy needed all the help he could get.

\---

Junjin let himself into Minwoo’s place. He was expecting a giant mess but knew Andy would have cleaned up. He walked into the living room to see Andy sleeping sitting up. He decided to let the younger man get some rest so he went into the bedroom. He found that Dongwan was curled up in the bed, uncovered and shaking. Minwoo wasn’t there.   
He frowned as he covered Dongwan up with a blanket and started to look around for Minwoo. It didn’t take long to guess that Minwoo was in the bathroom. Junjin cracked open the door and his eyes widen. Minwoo laid on the floor, naked, his wrist bleeding. He was passed out.

Junjin rushed over and shook him, “Minwoo…” He grabbed a towel off the sink and applied pressure to the man’s wrist. 

Minwoo groaned as he slowly opened his eyes. Junjin released the towel to see the bleeding had slowed. He noticed the cuts weren’t too deep, just deep enough to bleed. He sat Minwoo up and wiped his wrist some more.

“Oh crap…” A voice said.

Junjin looked over to see Andy, “Hey…”

“I-I didn’t mean to fall asleep…” Andy frowned as he went to get the first aid kit. He came back and started to dress Minwoo’s wrist, “I didn’t mean to…”

Junjin patted Andy on the back, “It’s alright...you’re beat.”

“Still I should have heard him…” Andy wrapped the man’s wrist, “I should have known…”

“It’s alright.” Junjin reassured him, “Thankfully it isn’t deep…”

“What if it was?” Andy swallowed the lump in his throat, “What if…”

“Hey…” Junjin spoke softly, “Don’t think that way…” 

“Jin…” Minwoo said softly as he started to cough. 

Junjin picked Minwoo up and brought him back to the bedroom. He laid him on the bed, “This is bad…”

“I told you…” Andy had followed him, he watched the other man cover Minwoo in a blanket, “Thanks for coming…”

Junjin looked at him and smiled sadly, “You don’t have to do this alone…”

“I know...I thought I could handle it…”

“We need to get them to the hospital…” Junjin explained as he watched Minwoo move around slowly, “Dongwan is barely breathing…”

Andy nodded and started to go through the dresser in the room, “We should take them now...I’ll find some clothes.”

Minwoo slowly sat up, “N-No…”

Junjin crossed his arms, “Yes. You need help, Andy can’t fix this for you…”

Minwoo looked up at him, “P-Please…”

Andy walked over holding some clothes, “Minwoo...it’s the only way to make it stop…”

Minwoo looked at him, knowing it was true, he nodded. He looked over at Dongwan and put his hand on his side, “Wan…”

Andy handed Junjin clothes for Minwoo, “I’ll get Dongwan dressed…”

Junjin took the clothes and grabbed Minwoo’s arm lightly, “Time to get dressed…”

Minwoo just sat there, the younger man had to lift him up. He started to dress him. Andy started to dress Dongwan who didn’t even stir in his sleep. “Dongwan is in bad shape…”

Minwoo barely stood by himself, he leaned against the taller man as he looked over at his friend on the bed, “It’s my fault…”

Junjin picked up Minwoo like a child, “I’ll get him in the car and come back for Dongwan.”

Andy nodded and watched them leave, he finished putting a shirt onto the limp Dongwan. He sighed and stared at him, “You’ll be better soon…”

\---

It didn’t take long for Dongwan and Minwoo to get beds and their own room. Minwoo laid in his hospital bed, an IV in his arm giving him liquids to rehydrate him. His arms and legs were bandaged up as well. He looked over to the other bed in the room which had Dongwan in it. He frowned, wanting to go over and lay with him.  
Dongwan had an IV for fluids, bandaged up and had an oxygen tube in his nose to help his breathing. His ribs were bandaged as well because they were cracked, making his breathing worse.

Minwoo stared at the ceiling and sighed. His arms itched. He shifted in bed, trying to sit up a bit but was too weak to do so. He looked over to see Andy come into the room with Junjin. He frowned at them.

Andy walked over to Minwoo’s bed and smiled sadly at him, “Hey Minwoo…”

Minwoo looked at them both, “Hi…” He looked away back at the other bed, “Is he ok?”

Andy glanced over, “Yea...they flushed his system out and are giving him pain meds for his ribs…they’re cracked…”

“He fell in the tub the night before I came to you…” Minwoo looked back at the younger men, “I couldn’t catch him in time…”

“Eric and Hyesung are on their way…” Junjin finally spoke.

Minwoo frowned again, “I-I don’t want to see them…they’re going to be pissed…”

Junjin crossed his arms, “Of course they are.” He said a bit sternly, “They’ll also be glad you’re ok and getting medical attention.”

Minwoo closed his eyes, breathing through his nose, he was trying to prepare himself mentally for when Shinhwa’s leader came in. He knew he would be in a heap of trouble.

Andy and Junjin decided to let them rest a bit. They left the room and went to the waiting room. They sat there and Andy looked at the taller man, “Thanks again…”

Junjin put his hand on Andy’s knee, “I’m glad you told me...before it was too late...I dunno if Dongwan would have made it another day.”

Andy looked down at the floor, tears stinging his eyes, “Y-Yea…”

Junjin squeezed his knee, “Hey...it’s over now. They’re getting help…” Andy rubbed his eyes and sniffed. Junjin wrapped his arm around him, “Andy...it’s alright…”

Andy leaned against him and let the tears go. The pressure of trying to keep a brave face on for the other two men finally broke him. Junjin held him close and rubbed his back as the younger man cried.

Eric and Hyesung walked into the waiting room and saw them. Hyesung rushed over to them and checked on Andy. Eric stood there watching them, he hadn’t fully processed what was going on. Not only did the two men get involved with drugs, they roped Andy into trying to help them. He wasn’t mad at Andy though, he couldn’t be. The younger man tried everything he could, respecting Minwoo’s wishes. He was mad at the other two sick men, especially Minwoo for allowing it to get out of control.

Junjin handed Andy over to Hyesung, who hugged him, as he walked over to Eric, “Hey Eric…”

“Is he alright?” Eric asked watching Hyesung soothe the younger man.

“Yea...it took a toll on him mentally…” Junjin explained, “It was bad...and I hadn’t seen the start of it…”

“Did you see them yet?” Eric looked at him, curiously.

“Minwoo was awake...he seemed a lot better than before.” Junjin explained as he stuffed his hands in his pockets, “Wan hasn’t woken up…”

Eric ran his fingers through his hair as he sighed, “I’m assuming a psych doctor will be by?”

“That’s what they said…” Junjin looked back to see Andy was calming down.

Eric walked over to the other men, “Junjin is gonna take me to the room...you two stay out here, alright?”

Hyesung nodded. Andy looked up at him, he sniffed a bit, “D-Don’t yell at them…” He frowned, “It won’t help…”

Eric nodded, “I won’t yell but…it’ll be hard…”

Andy wiped his eyes, “I-I know…”

Eric patted Andy on the head before following Junjin to the room where the two men were. Eric took a deep breath in before going into the room. The first bed was where Dongwan was, he was asleep. He went over to the bed and examined him closely, he was too skinny and pale. He glanced over to see the curtain dividing the room was scrunched up so he could see Minwoo staring at him. He went over to the bed, closing the curtain behind him, “Minwoo…”

Minwoo looked at him without expression. Eric clenched his fist as he breathed slowly, anger rising up in him. Junjin had gone into the room and put his hand on Eric’s shoulder, trying to calm him down. Eric let out a deep sigh before speaking, “Minwoo...you really messed up, huh?”

Minwoo blinked a few times before nodding. Eric scratched his forehead, his hand shaking with anger, “You know I’m pissed right?”

Minwoo just nodded as he gripped the blanket on top of him. He was waiting for the taller man to start yelling. Eric let out another deep breath, “You two will be getting help...t-this…”

Junjin could tell Eric was struggling with his anger, “This won’t happen again, ever. If we have to keep watch on both of you...we will…”

Eric looked at the younger man. Junjin continued, “That friend of yours is not allowed near you...actually anyone associated with him isn’t allowed near you.”

Minwoo just stared at him. Eric nodded to what Junjin was saying. Junjin frowned, “You know we love you, right?”

Minwoo’s eyes widen as he looked away, ashamed. Eric sighed, “Why we’re so angry…”

Minwoo’s bottom lip quivered. He was selfish to ever think no one cared about him. That he and Dongwan were just going to die off and be forgotten. He chewed on his lip as tears went down his cheeks, “I’m so sorry…” He said softly.

Eric left the room without a word. Junjin stood there for a moment, watching the other man cry before following the leader back to the waiting room. 

Andy looked up to see them return, “How did it go?”

Eric sat down across from him, “I didn’t yell…though I wanted to…”

Junjin sat down next to Eric, “Minwoo apologized…he knew he messed up…”

Andy frowned as he looked down at his feet, “I wonder when Wan will wake up…”

Eric crossed his arms, leaning against his seat, “He must have done three times more than Minwoo...he looked bad.”

Andy nodded but kept his head down. Junjin cleared his throat, “How about we get something to eat? Doc said it would be an hour or so before they check up on them again....”

Eric looked at him and back at Andy, “Sure…”

\---

Dongwan slowly opened his eyes, his vision slowly cleared up as he looked around. He didn’t know where he was. He looked to see his arm had an IV in it and was bandaged. He looked up at the ceiling and frowned. A hospital. He hated hospitals yet he knew why he was there. He looked at the curtain partition, he wondered who was on the other side. He watched as a doctor came in.

“Oh good, you’re awake.” The doctor said as he checked a chart, “How are we feeling?”

“Tired…” Dongwan said softly.

“Any thoughts of suicide?”

Dongwan blinked and shook his head, “N-No…”

“Have you ever spoken to someone about this?” The doctor pointed at his bandaged arm.

“N-No…” Dongwan shifted a bit, embarrassed by the questions.

“Well you’re gonna have to now…” The doctor wrote something down on the chart, “Any pain?”

Dongwan thought about it and his ribs no longer hurt, “Not right now…”

“Good…” The doctor wrote something else down, “Get some rest, the nurse will be in later with more pain meds…”

Dongwan nodded and watched the doctor check in on the other bed. “Mr. Lee, how are we doing?”

Dongwan looked at the curtain wanting to rip it open to see who it was. He knew who it was and he wanted to see him. He listened to the answers Minwoo gave, which were similar to his own. The doctor left them both to get some rest. Dongwan slowly sat up, he needed to see him. He tried is best to sit on the edge of the bed but was stopped when Junjin came in with the guys.

Junjin lightly pushed him against the bed, “Where are you going, Wan?”

Dongwan stared at him and reached out for where Minwoo was. Junjin grabbed his hand, “We’ll get it for you…”

Andy went over and moved the curtain so the two sick men could see each other. Minwoo looked over with wide eyes, “W-Wannie…”

Dongwan stared at Minwoo and frowned. He didn’t speak but tried reaching out to him. Junjin frowned and took his hand again, “In a little bit you can touch him…” 

Dongwan kept his eyes on Minwoo. Junjin looked over at Eric who was in the doorway, his arms crossed. He was still mad but obviously relieved that Dongwan was awake. Andy sat himself down in a chair in the corner of the room. The others hovered around the beds, not saying much. 

Dongwan finally spoke up as he looked around, “A-Andy?”

Andy got up and went over to the bed. The sick man reached out for him. Andy took his hand, “Yea, Wan?”

“I’m sorry…” Dongwan said softly as he tried to squeeze his hand but was too weak, “S-Sorry for putting you through this…”

“It’s alright…” Andy squeezed his hand, which was shaking, “You’re getting help now…”

\---

Andy sat in a waiting room, his leg bouncing up and down as he waited. It had been a week since the incident with the two other men. They were out of the hospital and lived with Andy as a way to keep a watch on them, per Eric’s request. Of course Junjin would relieve Andy of his babysitting duties so he could get a break.  
Sitting next to him was Minwoo, who was reading a magazine. Andy looked over at him, he wore a short sleeved shirt revealing his scarred arms. Since the hospital the two men made a pact to stop cutting. After a few rough nights and giving in they kept their word. 

Minwoo turned the page of his magazine and looked over at the younger man, “Wan’s been having nightmares…”

Andy frowned, “He has?”

Minwoo looked back at the magazine, “Mostly nightmares about if we never came to you for help…” He sighed, “We’d be dead if we didn’t tell you…”

Andy looked around the waiting room slowly, “I’m glad you decided to come to me…”

“It was hard...but…” Minwoo set the magazine aside, “Thanks Andy.”

Andy looked at him, seeing the other man smiled slightly at him. Andy smiled back and put his hand on Minwoo’s thigh, he didn’t flinch anymore, “Anytime…”

Minwoo looked up to see the door to the waiting room open and Dongwan came out. His eyes were a tad red from crying but otherwise looked happy. Minwoo got up and hugged him, “How’d it go?”

Dongwan hugged him back, “Good...got a few ideas to help with the nightmares.”

Minwoo pulled him away and put his hand on his cheek, “We’ll work on them together, alright?”

Dongwan nodded and looked over at Andy, “Sorry you had to waste your day here…”

Andy stood up and shook his head, “It’s alright.”

Minwoo took Dongwan’s hand and looked at the younger man, “We’re seeing the guys right?”

“Yes.” Andy smiled at the couple, they seemed so much healthier and happy, “Lets go.”

\---

They sat around Eric’s coffee table, chatting away while having lunch. Eric took a drink of water before speaking, “How were the appointments today?”

Minwoo looked at him, “Mine went well...the negative thoughts aren’t coming as much anymore.”

Dongwan frowned slightly and put his hand on Minwoo’s thigh, “Doc says I’m progressing well…”

“Good to hear.” Eric looked over at Andy, “I think it’s time they went home, huh?”

Andy looked up from his lunch and blinked, “O-Only if they want...I don’t mind you guys being there.”

Dongwan smiled at him, “You’ve done so much for us…”

“You guys have been doing very well…” Andy said softly, “If you’re comfortable with leaving then I’m alright with it.”

Minwoo patted Andy on the shoulder, “It’ll be good for us, besides you need a vacation.”

Andy laughed a bit. Minwoo rubbed Andy’s back, “Go have fun somewhere…because in the next few months we’re gonna start group stuff.”

Andy looked over at him and smiled, “I think I will.” He was glad this ordeal was over and that the couple seemed to be much happier and definitely healthier. He was glad he was someone they could go to when scared. It made him feel good inside.


End file.
